


The Goodbye Song

by DPKhor



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Gen, Minor Character Death, Sibling Bonding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-05
Updated: 2018-08-05
Packaged: 2019-06-22 06:07:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15575448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DPKhor/pseuds/DPKhor
Summary: We follow the Danvers sister through their initial years. In which Jeremiah was never recruited into the DEO, and was present throughout their lives, but Eliza doesn't make it before Kara's first Earth birthday after being diagnosed with leukaemia.Mainly written in Kara's POV, following her understanding of how humans look at death.Inspired by The Goodbye Song by Joe Iconis and George Salazar because I listened to it for the first time and bawled.





	The Goodbye Song

 

Kara was familiar with death. She had been four when she lost her grandmother on Krypton. She remembered the solemn rituals carried out by the priests, the promise that they would one day be reunited in Rao's everlasting warmth and light. She remembered how she spent the first night in her strange new home, repeating the rites, desperately trying to remember as many names as she could, to properly honour their memory. 

 

Krypton's death; her parents', her relatives', her friends'.

 

Death was an end on Krypton. An absolution of a full life. After all, Kryptonians were genetically engineered to be perfect. Sickness was rare, and death by sickness even rarer. Most, but not all, lived to see grandchildren - or even great-grandchildren. But death was the end of that life, and an end that would eventually come for everyone. 

 

Kara was furious with herself. The legacy of her entire people rested on her shoulders and she couldn't remember many people beyond the fifteen names she knew by heart. Kal-El was different. He never knew the home that they belonged to, or, well, used to belong to. He might be Kryptonian, but down to the very core, he was human - and that is what sets him aside from Kara. The last _true_ daughter of Krypton.

 

"Do you understand, Kara?" Jeremiah asked softly. Kara's attention snapped back to him. 

 

English was still a foreign concept to her. It wasn't difficult for her to grasp, to understand, no. She was a genius, after all. It had been only a few weeks since she arrived, and she could mostly interpret what the Danvers were saying, but she only ever responded in Kryptahniuo.

 

"Zhi," she answered, much to Jeremiah's chagrin. She had said it enough times, along with the non-verbal cue of a nod that he understood that it meant 'yes'.

 

He pressed his lips into a thin line, smiling slightly as he squeezed her shoulder.

 

"Keep practicing, okay?"

 

"Zhi."

 

He chuckled, standing.

 

Kara heard a crash.

 

"Dad! Mom passed out!" Alex screamed.

 

Jeremiah hurried downstairs. Kara carefully took off her glasses, peering through layers of concrete, wood and plaster and saw Alex crouching down by Eliza. Her heartbeat was weak, compared to Alex's. 

 

"Should we call an ambulance?" Alex asked. Jeremiah picked his wife up.

 

"No time. Get Kara and get to the car," Jeremiah instructed, hurrying towards the door. Alex ran up the stairs, two steps at a time. 

 

Kara followed Jeremiah until the door of the room burst open and Alex came in.

 

Kara slid her glasses back on.

 

"Come on," Alex huffed. "Hurry up."

 

Kara scrambled to her feet, still not understanding what was happening.

 

She followed Alex into the car, mindful of her powers. She remembered the blurry landscape passing as Jeremiah went as fast as he could. She remembered following Alex as the latter stayed behind her father when they entered the ER. It was the first time she had ever been in a hospital - and her first thoughts were how _stale_ it smelled. It was a state of both calm and panic, a juxtaposition in itself. The other thing she noticed was the overwhelming sense of dread, and the sounds of machinery and people in pain. 

 

Kara clutched her shirt, just a little above her chest, swallowing thickly.

 

Alex folded her arms as she sat down while Jeremiah followed Eliza - who had been placed on a gurney - along with a nurse. Kara hesitated, before sitting down next to Alex.

 

"Do you know what's happening?"

 

Kara shook her head, no. "Zha."

 

"Zha and zhi," Alex scoffed. "Is that all you can say?"

 

Kara pursed her lips, not saying anything, trying instead to hear what was happening with Eliza.

 

She remembers Jeremiah coming out, gently asking Alex to follow the nurse that came with him, while he took her place beside Kara.

 

"I'm sorry you have to go through this again," he said.

 

Kara's brow furrowed slightly, still not quite understanding what was happening. How could she? As mentioned earlier, sickness on Krypton was rare - and death from it, rarer. She had never seen anyone so terribly ill that their life would be cut short. 

 

That is, until Alex came out and Kara was led into the room.

 

Eliza looked older than Kara remembered, even though she saw her just the same morning. The older woman was pale, eyes slightly red. Her face was gaunt, and with the incessant beeping of the monitor, Kara felt a little bit terrified.

 

"Kara."

 

Then, she spoke, and Kara's fears seemed to ease. Eliza just seemed to have that influence on the young Kryptonian. 

 

Kara stepped closer when Eliza moved to sit up. When Kara noticed her struggle, she gently grasped Eliza's wrist, placing her other hand on her back to help her. The older Danvers smiled warmly at Kara and, just for a brief moment, Kara forgot where they were.

 

"I'm sure you're confused," Eliza said, softly. "I'm sorry that I had to hide this from you."

 

Hide what, Kara wanted to ask, but she remained silent, brow furrowing instead.

 

Eliza took Kara's hand in hers, covering it with her other hand. Kara tensed a little at the coldness of her touch, as compared to the gentle warmth she remembered.

 

"I'm dying, Kara," Eliza spoke, finally. 

 

Dying, death. Those words were familiar territory - but Kara never thought she'd experience it again so soon. Jeremiah's words from earlier echoed in her mind.

 

Kara pulled her hand back abruptly, shoulders squared as her eyes widened.

 

Eliza shifted her gaze to her hands, which she folded on her lap, as if she knew Kara would react that way. Of course she would. The woman seemed to know everything. Kara now understood why Alex looked so upset earlier.

 

"The truth is...I have been on this track for a while now," Eliza shook her head. "Jeremiah and I...we didn't want to put the both of you in a difficult position. I hoped... _We_ hoped that I would get better...but...it didn't."

 

Kara was still trying to process the knowledge that Eliza was sick - that she was dying.

 

"They said I might not have long left," Eliza continued, looking at Kara again.

 

Kara wanted to desperately tell her that she can't die - not when she had just started to move on from her grief over the loss of her people.

 

"I...I do wish that your cousin never left you with us so you wouldn't have to go through this again, so quickly," Eliza reached out, and Kara slipped her hand into hers. Eliza smiled sadly at her, squeezing gently.

 

"But...I wouldn't trade the lessons you taught me for anything else. I know I'm far from a replacement for your mother," she spoke, quieter this time. "And you didn't have to listen to us - but you did. So, thank you."

 

Kara felt the tears stinging her eyes.

 

"Jeremiah told me you finally got the hang of skateboarding," Eliza chuckled. 

 

Kara remembered being hesitant about stepping on the wooden board that Alex loved to move around on. Kara tightened her grip on Eliza's hand slightly, careful not to hurt her.

 

"It's alright," Eliza murmured softly. "You don't have to be afraid. You, Alex, and Jeremiah, you'll be fine."

 

Kara wasn't sure how to react. Losing Krypton was different from losing Eliza. She couldn't go back to Krypton. The lives that were lost, were lost there. 

 

Death was an end.

 

"When I'm gone," Eliza pulled the Kryptonian's attention back to her. "You don't have to worry."

 

Kara met her eyes, confused.

 

"I'll be here," Eliza tapped the space over her heart. "Forever, alright? I promise."

 

Kara didn't understand, she couldn't comprehend what Eliza was trying to say.

 

"This isn't goodbye," Eliza leaned towards her. "As long as you think of me, I'll be here."

 

The surge of emotions suddenly ripped through Kara's chest as the realisation finally hit.

 

"Rrilev, zhgam," Kara struggled to find the word. "Come."

 

Eliza's brow furrowed slightly. "Oh, honey, no. You can't come where I'm going."

 

It wasn't the right word, Kara thought, frustratedly. "Za awuhkh- _stay_."

 

Eliza's expression shifted into one of pity. "I...I can't, honey."

 

Kara reached forward, pulling her into the tightest hug she could without hurting her.

 

"I need you to promise me something, Kara," Eliza said, after a moment. 

 

Kara pulled back, wiping at her eyes, as she nodded.

 

"Promise me that you and Alex will look out for each other," Eliza told her. "I know things are difficult between the both of you, but promise me this."

 

Kara nodded. "Zhi."

 

Eliza caressed her cheek. "Atta, girl."

 

Kara remembered the nurse coming back in, gently ushering Kara out to where Jeremiah and Alex were waiting. He and Jeremiah spoke in hushed tones, the latter nodding solemnly.

 

"I'll come back in a while," he said.

 

"Dad, I'm coming too," Alex insisted.

 

"No," Jeremiah told her, softly. "Not today. I'll take the both of you home and I need you to look after Kara."

 

Kara's heart clenched when Alex shot her a dirty look, still remaining silent. 

 

Kara remembered the next three weeks, the constant visits to Eliza, and each passing day seemed to drain more of the life out of the woman. How Alex and her mother were practically inseparable. How Kara slowly began to accept that Eliza would be gone one day, and how she made her peace with it. Jeremiah seemed to be holding himself together quite well, giving most of his attention to his wife and daughter, but not neglecting the alien among them.

 

She remembered the day Jeremiah got the call that Eliza had passed. In her sleep, they said, peacefully. Kara hoped it was true. Jeremiah made arrangements for the funeral, following the call. Kara remembered Alex locking herself away in their room, refusing to speak to anyone. It didn't come as a surprise - everyone knew it was coming, but it didn't mean that it didn't hurt at all. Kara knew how hard it was to lose a family member - she had lost her whole family, after all. She was saddened by Eliza's passing, but she knew it would hurt a thousand times more to Alex and Jeremiah. So, she gave them time to grieve, not imposing on their time alone, and instead kept to herself. 

 

The day of the funeral was dreary, as it should be. It was raining, and the crowd of friends and family that had amassed carried umbrellas. Kal-El had attended the funeral, but couldn't stay around long. Kara didn't hold it against him when he apologised. She hugged him, and wished him safe journey.

 

The funeral made her understand a bit more about how humans viewed death; that it _wasn't_ the end. That it was a beginning of a better, more permanent life. At least, that was what the priest was saying. It wasn't something everyone agreed on, from what Kara had read. Unlike Kryptonians, humans had segmented religions, with different beliefs and understandings. Some people believed in reincarnation, some believed in an afterlife. Some didn't believe in either at all. 

 

Kara followed Jeremiah and Alex's lead when they grasped a handful of dirt and tossed it into the grave. One by one, the crowd followed suit, some tossing flowers in along with the dirt. Some people had started singing quietly, some led prayers. 

 

Kara stayed with her family until the last of the people had left. She stared at the mound of dirt, marking the similarities between the funeral rites of Kryptonians and humans.

 

She remembered when they had arrived back home, how Alex headed straight up to her room. Jeremiah looked as though he wanted to chase after her but simply sighed. 

 

Kara sat down in the living room, Jeremiah joining her.

 

"Are you okay?" Jeremiah asked. He must've noticed how she had been quieter than before. 

 

Kara knew he didn't expect a response, and pondered over why she never did respond to his questions. When she spoke her first two English words to Eliza, she felt a twinge of guilt. As if her speaking English meant she was throwing Krypton aside. It was different than when she learnt to speak Thanagarian, or Thoronian, or the time she wanted to take Martian as an elective. Perhaps it was because she had a choice then - and she wanted to have that same choice now. But it was unrealistic. She couldn't expect the whole human race to learn Kryptonian - and she felt that she didn't want them to. 

 

Eliza's words to her about how she wasn't actually gone resonated within her. It was a reminder that death wasn't the end, as what she had always been familiar with. So, perhaps Krypton might be gone, but it didn't mean Kara had to die with it. 

 

No, Kara would be its legacy, and learning to accept Earth as her new home wouldn't mean Krypton would suddenly vanish from her heart.

 

She exhaled shakily. "Yes."

 

Jeremiah's head snapped up, surprised. 

 

"I'm okay," Kara continued, slowly. "Are... _you_ okay?"

 

His expression softened as he smiled slightly. "I...will be."

 

"Good."

 

"Yeah."

 

Kara bit her lip. "Will Alex be okay, too?"

 

"You'll have to ask her that yourself," he admitted. Kara stood up, hesitating.

 

"I'll do that."

 

Jeremiah simply nodded, watching as Kara slowly made her way upstairs. Kara could hear Alex crying in their room. She remembered how she hadn't cried at the funeral, the firmness in her voice when she delivered the eulogy, after her father read her mother's last words. She hesitated again, to barge in on Alex's grieving. To interrupt the moment when her sister allowed herself to be vulnerable.

 

'...promise me you'll look after each other...'

 

Eliza's words echoed in her ears as she approached the door, gently knocking. She could hear fabric rustle, as Alex sniffled, wiping away her tears.

 

"Come in."

 

Kara opened the door and she knew Alex wasn't expecting to see her. That she was expecting Jeremiah.

 

"What do you want?"

 

Kara refused to let the venom in her tone serrate her heart. 

 

"I'm sorry," Kara said, pausing to let Alex's initial shock at her use of English subside before continuing, "I know how it hurts."

 

Alex seemed to suddenly remember that Kara had lost everyone she ever loved.

 

"I can't say it gets..." Kara paused, not remembering the word. "Gooder."

 

"Better," Alex corrected.

 

Kara nodded appreciatively. "Better. It...still hurts."

 

"I'm sorry," Alex shook her head.

 

"No, it's good," Kara insisted, holding out a hand to ask for permission to approach Alex. Alex shifted on her bed, giving space for Kara to sit.

 

"It still hurts," Kara repeated. "...but it hurts less, now, because of your family."

 

Alex shifted her eyes back to the album open on her lap. Pictures of a younger Alex, beaming, with her mother looked back at Kara. It stung a little, knowing she didn't have anything like that to remember her parents by. Kara reached out, taking the album. Alex watched, quizzically, as Kara traced her fingers over the pictures.

 

She murmured a prayer for Eliza, before reciting the Kryptonian funeral rite which she had said over a hundred times already. Alex seemed to recognise it, when her expression softened considerably. 

 

When Kara finished reciting it, she was startled by Alex hugging her tightly, suddenly.

 

"Mom told me something. When we first found out she was sick," Alex said. "She said we had to stick together. That we needed to-"

 

"-look out for each other," Kara finished. 

 

Alex smiled slightly. "Yeah."

 

"Are you going to be okay?" Kara asked the question she came to ask, when Alex pulled away.

 

She seemed to ponder the question for a moment. "I think so."

 

She looked out the window. "The rain's let up. You want to take a walk?"

 

"Zhi," Kara responded. Alex rolled her eyes before shaking her head.

 

"Go tell dad. I'm going to freshen up."

 

Kara nodded, leaving the room. Her heart was still hurting, but it was mending, and as long as she and Alex stuck together, she was sure things would turn out fine.

 

 


End file.
